The other day I took my car to get its wheels re-aligned and balanced. I wasn't planning to (I was hoping it would fix itself), but I had given several people lifts recently and they had all commented on the shaking and some had suggested getting my car serviced. One of my housemates questioned my approach to car maintainance, which I have to honest, was sub-standard at best although I did very recently buy a 5ltr bottle of screen wash (not shaking related). Also, my car could no longer drive in a straight line, which is less of a hinderance than you might think but yes quite dangerous now I think about it.

Despite all of that, I think the incident that prompted me to get my car fixed was what happened when coming back from Leeds.

I had noted on the motorway that my car was veering off to the right. Ok, I thought, maybe it will fix itself by the time we get back to Nottingham. In hindsight, I can see that this was perhaps unrealistically optimistic of me.

I dropped the members of Plinth off at their houses. Nick first. So far, so good. Then Rachel. Her road is one of the many in Lenton that are lined with cars on both sides, meaning that there is only room for one car to pass through at a time, driving in the middle of the road.

There was nowhere for me to pull over near her house, so I just stopped in the middle of the road. As I did this, I noticed a BMW turn into the road coming towards me. Rather than act like a sensible person and wait at the bottom of road for 30 seconds while the dropping off was taking place, this BMW decided that the quickest way of going along the road was to drive right up to me and start beeping the horn angrily. And then turn on their full beam headlights.

I thought about beeping back but then I thought better of it because I am nice and also because in the eyes of the passer-by this would make me look as bad as the BMW driver. I tried inching towards the BMW in an attempt to hint that they should reverse (with subtle overtones of 'you should have waited where you were for 30 seconds' this was difficult to communicate and I don't think they got that particular message). This just resulted in more beeping and I also became very aware that the BMW was full of 4 very angry looking men who could quite easily just get out and (I assume) use violence if they wanted. I couldn't be arsed with that. I had just spent 3 hours trapped in a car with Nick.

Anyway, all this beeping and angry faces left me with only one realistic option. It looked like I was going to have to reverse. So I stuck on my full beam headlights (two can play at that game, you BMW driving dickheads) and put on reverse gear and started reversing. The BMW rather intimidatingly inched forward every inch I reversed.

It wasn't as simple as that. My veering car meant that reversing in a straight line proved really fucking hard. It eventually got to the point where I was about to hit a parked car. The BMW was still inching forward. But I had to straighten up by going forward myself. The BMW beeped angrily, but after a few beeps it was clear that the two of us were not going anywhere unless the BMW backed off and let me straighten up. So it reversed. I cheekily attempted to reverse the roles and inch towards the BMW but this resulted in more beeping and angriness. They reversed a few feet but that was all I was going to get.

Still, I was pleased with this. I had turned the tables somewhat and hopefully this little stoppage showed the BMW driver the futility and ridiculousness of him attempting to go down the road rather than wait for me. I doubt that, as it would seem that he had started something he had to finish and kept right back at me. Tosser. Well, the joke was on him in any case. He thought his beeping technique and penis-extension car could get his way on the road, but my shit yellow car that couldn't go in a straight line showed him. Striker! Although more Peter Crouch than Thierry Henry.

I had to do the straigtening out by forcing the BMW back a few feet 4 times in total. If he had waited at the bottom of the road for 30 seconds he could have got to his drugshouse far quicker (I assume that is where he was going, he didn't look as if he had a proper job to buy the BMW with) and I would not see a BMW and think "that driver is a cunt". The whole manouver of me reversing must have taken a good few minutes and certainly tested my patience and had me wishing my car would go in a straight line. However had my wheels been straight, I would not have got my small revenge in forcing the BMW back a few times (without beeping) and I also probably wouldn't have got my wheels re-aligned so perhaps some good has come out of this.

After all the reversing was done, I drove down the road, dropped off Edd and then went home.

At the garage the fella who I assumed was the manager looked like a stereotypical British gangster. Greasy hair, big coat, wrists loaded with jewellry. I didn't see a medallion but I am sure he has several. While they fixed my car I read a playstation magazine that was there. I don't own a playstation. The magazine wasn't very interesting.